Rewind

  

        Thinking about what to write in this essay reminds me of my high school graduation. That was the day when our sleepless nights and cups of coffee were recognized. Our four years of math, chemistry, physics, and research has ended (*evil laugh). But, why am I reminded of that day? My college life has just begun, right? It feels weird to be writing a goodbye stuff but a year has ended and it really is goodbye for our eng/lit classes.

 

            Once upon a time (haha), I went to CTC 2-0-something to attend my first English class at 2:30 and Lit class at 3:30 (It wasn’t a Monday afternoon, I think). It was then when I realized that I have many blocks—one for my chemistry, filipino, and math classes, one for my P.E class, one for history, and the fourth one for english and literature classes. And poof! I’m now sitting  on my bed, writing the last essay for my En12 class and having a hard time reminiscing the moments of the block (I’m not really good at this).

 

Rewind.

 

1^st semester

 

Cafeteria. 2:30. CTC 2^nd floor. Room. Sun. Hot. Ceiling fans.

 

English11. Ms. Delgado. Cubao. Feature article. Magazine. Sleeps. Jokes. Laugh trips. Free cut. Ms. Delgado’s husband.

 

Lit13. Ms. Loredo. DEAR sessions. Stories. Elements. Interpretation. Short Quizzes. Jokes. Laugh trips.

 

2^nd Semester

 

Cafeteria. 2:30. CTC 102. Room. Aircon. Cold.

 

Byebye aircon room. CTC 306. Grudge (joke). Ms. Loredo’s appeal. Hello aircon room again.

 

English12. Ms. Doplon. Argumentative paper. Defence. Powerpoint presentation. Reflection paper. Blogs. Deadlines. Exercises. Consultation. Jokes. Laugh trips.

 

Lit14. Ms. Loredo (again). DEAR sessions. Poems. Drawings. Short Quizzes. Hamlet. Jokes. Laugh trips.

  

CRAM. CRAM.CRAM.

 

Final Exams and Papers.

 

E…..N….d?

 

 This isn’t really the end. The classes were just over.

 

I will miss the moments.

 

The unforgettable moments.

 

Goodbye for now.

 

See you around.

 

R49. 

gOoDbYe? NaH!!!

Saying goodbyes is something I never enjoyed. I’m trying to avoid all the drama behind it. But here, I’ll say some things.

            It has been almost ten months since I first met my English block. Despite having a lot of freshman friends, I felt disappointed that I only knew a few faces. I cannot do anything about it so I would just have to figure my way in R49.

            We got a boring En 11 teacher, but there is one other thing we liked about her- the free cuts! But we got a much better En 12 teacher, Ms. Doplon. The class became livelier, less boring and student-friendly. She is very approachable compared to our previous teacher. She tells funny jokes. We also had the blog where we would comment on each other’s work. Our Literature teacher is the same for the two semesters, Ms. Loredo. One thing I would not forget about the Lit class is the Hamlet play. It was very funny and entertaining.

            More than the classes, I gained friends in R49. We have different courses but we got together because of R49. I enjoyed the learning experience with them. And of course, I also have memories I would not forget about the R49.

            I became attached to R49. And it is sad to think that we would not be together anymore in the next semesters to come. Being a part of R49 is a worthwhile experience. It may not be the best for others but for me it is. And I will miss you all. Hope we can get together some time in the future. Reunion? Just see you guys around! And thanks. I would not say goodbye for goodbyes mean it is the end and I’m sure that this would not be the end.

Random Thoughts for the Bonus Blog

Things I won’t forget in R49

 

Gian – Nosebleed insights. Hahaha!

 

Ivy – Thank you for all the jokes and the funny things you and Maricris do, all the time.

 

Maricris – always doing karate on Ivy hahaha!

 

Jo – your “I am Ledger” joke haha!

 

Jezze – your wonderful (ahem!) handwriting =p

 

Vince – Ophelia.

 

Catsy – always putting your bag on Jun’s chair

 

Christine – your A paper in lit >:p hahahaha!

 

Arthur/Chris – ma’am Doplon’s “hirits” on you hahaha

 

Dawn – pro-administration. Haha!

 

Dennis – magic tricks

 

Drich – making the class livelier and the way you made “bola” to Ms. Del… haha

 

Geoff – during the 1^st sem: you were always waiting outside the classroom hoping that it’ll be a freecut

 

GJ – your sprained foot scheme to get us back to the airconditioned classroom haha kidding!

 

Jed – LOL! Laughing out LOUD. Hahaha

 

Jun – for being spiritually present but physically absent

 

Joseph – the hat. Haha =p

 

Kenneth – Jun’s bestfriend, lit play haha

 

Leo – that thing you do with your throat haha

 

Nia – funny comments!

 

JV – for being so quiet. Hahahaha

 

Noel – bullying Sam hahahaha joke!

 

Sam – your tinkerbell shirt…coz I have that too haha

 

Shari – weirdo hahaha =p

 

Hazel – the one being bullied by the class haha =p

 

Rain – God.

 

Nicko – always picking on Hazel hahaha

 

Rodney – lit plays

 

Ms. DD – freecuts =D

 

Ms. Loredo – THE final grade.

 

Ms. Doplon – the FUNNY jokes hahhaha and ma’am, thank you for being a BETTER English teacher hahahah =p

 

See you guys around! =D

because goodbyes are sappy

Goodbye English Block

Good-bye English Block!

It is very hard to imagine that almost a year has passed since I entered Ateneo. Looking back, I realized how funny my reaction was when I found out that my English block was different from my own block. None of my friends from my ME block was there and so, I was disgusted. What’s the point of having a separate English block? Why can’t I have my ME blockmates as my English blockmates?  I

But of course I couldn’t do anything. So, I just entered the class. If I remember it right, in our first meeting in English, the activity was connecting an adjective starting with the first letter of your first name to your first name. I had so much fun in that activity, and there I found my first friends in the English block.

The following activities in English were cool; and classes in Lit were so much fun. So that eventually, I have come to like my English classes and my English block.

English and Lit classes to me became like stress-relievers because the block was funny and especially that it came right after my math class… my horrible math class.

            One thing I really like about the block is that, it’s a combination of people from different courses: Biology, Chemistry, AMF and ME. I really like talking to the SOSE people because talking to them makes me feel that I have a light workload. It’s so nice to see people studying harder subjects than me. It makes me feel blessed. Joke!

            Anyway, my main point here is that, I really like R49; and so it is sad to know that this is the end of R49, that there may never be a chance for these people to once again gather in one room as a class.

            Now I know why there is a separate English block. There could be only one reason: It spices up the college life!

            Once upon a time I hated English and literature subjects. But it’s funny to think that I’ve really enjoyed such classes in college. It must be because of the block and maybe because of the teachers as well. (Please exclude DD. Hahahah joke!)

            I am not really good in good-byes. I actually hate good-byes. But I will still say it: Goodbye English Block… good-bye R49, it was really nice sharing classes with you, and though the block wasn’t as tight as the other English blocks, still, we were a team, we were blockmates, and for me, we are the best English block, after all we are R49.

           

           

Seeing things more clearly

I was alone and helpless. I was afraid.

It was late in the afternoon, the sun painted the wide sky above us red. I was quiet and calm. I was leaning on the dusty wooden wall of the dormitory. A man smiled at me, waved his hands, and walked away. A woman whispered me words, wrapped her hands around me, and kissed me on the forehead. She was teary-eyed but she looked glad. She smiled at me, waved her hands, and walked away. The engine of the car started to make some noise. I felt weak. The car got smaller, and smaller, until there was none. I wanted to shout. I wanted to cry. But most of all, I wanted to run and chase that car. However, there was nothing but a blank stare.

For me, that was the beginning of the end.

Back then, I was only 12 years old—small, young, and innocent. I’ve lived all those 12 years with my parents. They were always there to assist, comfort, and do many things for me. They would wake me up at 6 in the morning so that I wouldn’t be late for school. My mom would cook for me my favorite dishes. My dad would drive me to school and fetch me afterwards.

Before graduation, I received my letter of acceptance from the Philippine Science High School-Bicol Region Campus. Besides the fact that it was one of the most prestigious schools in our place, I had no other idea about that place. My parents, relatives, and teachers were very happy for me and so I had this feeling that I would be studying at one great, great school.

But wait. My eyes are telling me the opposite.

That afternoon, my parents left me at the dormitory of that school. A blank stare was all I can give. And then, I had no choice but to turn around and walk inside. I saw a dull, unpainted room with about 20 rusty double-deck beds clumped at its four sides. There was a space with few tables aligned at the middle. And then, at the corner of my eye, I saw the comfort room. There were only 2 cubicles for all 40 freshman students in that room. Oh no, I wanted to back out. Sigh.

Later that night, the caterer arrived and brought us food. It was a delicious, saucy, and tasty chicken barbeque. One freshman said “I wasn’t disappointed with the food”. We laughed and agreed. Then, one sophomore student answered “Just a first day impression”. She explained that the school’s budget for one student’s meal is less than 30 pesos so we can’t expect good food at all times. Silence. We don’t know how to react.

It was really hard to have a good sleep that night. I ended up thinking of the television and the shows that I won’t be able to watch. I was thinking how the first day of school would be. And I was thinking what my dad, mom, and siblings were doing. I finally went to sleep at about 12 midnight. After barely 2 hours of sleep, I heard the sounds of the water in the restroom. With my eyes half-open, I saw a line of pails and washroom stuffs. It was already a long line but I was lucky I was not the last. I had my turn to use the comfort room at about 7:10 in the morning and our class was at 7:20. I was rushing so that I wouldn’t be late for my first class in my first year in high school.

I was running to catch my first class. Just after I opened the door of the dorm, I saw some students on their chairs and a blackboard in front of them. There was no room. I started wondering how my room or rather my class would look like. Then, under a large, shady tree, I saw another class. They were laughing and talking about their first teacher who was absent. At that point, I was not expecting for a nice room but I was hoping for a room, at least.

I was not disappointed; all the freshmen students have rooms. It has only two walls however, one in front and the other at the back. There were no doors and windows. We have two exhausted ceiling fans but only one works. There were enough chairs but not space. The floor was really dusty that when you drop your ballpen and retrieve it, it would look like a hundred-year old pen used by the Jose Rizal. Moreover, it was hot yet windy. Winds bring the dust in your eyes. Now, the exciting part—we are one with nature. From small lizards, scary geckos, and hairy caterpillars, name it and we have it. I really have to have the guts to continue my studies in a place like that.

Yes, first impressions last but they aren’t always true.

As days past on that impossible school, I begin to see things beyond what they just look like. Our room was dull and so we painted and decorated few corners to make it livelier. It was fun meeting friends and playing with them during that activity. There were also dorm activities that students would really appreciate as stress-relievers. The dorm was also well-lighted at night. My classmates and I would play sipa, tagu-taguan, agawan-base, and jumping rope after class. We also made a schedule for the comfort room usage and we also utilized the comfort rooms at the other building. The food was not bad at all— more of vegetables and pork, sometimes fish or beef. We also bring canned goods in case the food was not good or not enough. The floor of our room was cemented as part of the homeroom project. Because we don’t walls, we place our chairs under that shady, scented tree with yellow flowers adjacent to our room and listened to our teachers. Fresh air was really nice. Caterpillars and geckos would not mind the students if the students would not disturb them. Besides, they were busy gathering their food. I also experienced having a class with only a blackboard and some chairs, class under the tree, on a stage, and anywhere I wouldn’t imagine I would. It’s weird but it’s a lot fun, really. You should try it sometimes.

Because of my experience in high school, it wasn’t hard for me to adjust to college life. Luckily, Ateneo de Manila has air-conditioned rooms, well-equipped laboratories, and nice facilities. I don’t have classes under the tree or at zen garden. I have internet connection at my dorm and a comfort room which I share with my brother and not 39 other dormers. I learned at lot of things during my four years of stay at Pisay-Bicol and I know that all of these things would be of use in the future.

I didn’t regret the day my parents left me at that school. That blank stare was just right. Indeed, the famous saying which goes “Don’t judge a book by its cover” is true. We see things more clearly not through our eyes but with our hearts.

Independence:Good or Bad?

Independence:Good or Bad 

“I am so excited to go to college.”

            This was the feeling I had when I was in my last year in high school. For me, going to college meant more freedom, independence, and a chance to experience new things. For me, it was heaven.

            You see, being the youngest in the family isn’t very nice at all, because every person at home has authority over you. They could tell you what to do, give you a thousand errands, tease you, call you names and get away with it. It was, as they consider it, justifiable.

            Because of this, I have always dreamt of the day when I would finally leave home, to go here in Metro Manila to study. It would mean not going home until it was the semestral break(no errands for me!), budgeting my allowance, choosing what to eat, making decisions for myself(when to study etc.) and doing what I want. For short, total independence.

            So you can surely imagine how happy I was when I was accepted in the schools here in Manila. From then on, I had all the license to daydream about the life I would have as a college student, with all its excitement, thrill, and freedom.

           

            Then, the time for me to leave home came. I arrived here, full of worries, but at the same time, overwhelming excitement. “I am truly a college student! I am going to be independent!”

            It is important to note, however, that aside from my sisters, my mom was still with me when I said that. She was supposed to accompany me on my enrolment in the Ateneo.

           

            A day before the enrolment, we were at the mall, strolling around, doing nothing, just having fun. But all of a sudden, my mom received a phone call, telling her that my grandmother just died, and that she was needed at home, immediately, to fix some things regarding the funeral. Right then and there, my mom forgot everything about me and my enrolment. She was crying so hard and was already so anxious to go home. She didn’t even bother asking me how I would manage my enrolment.

            At that news, I started crying as well, not because I was sad for my grandmother’s death, but because I knew that I would never see my mom again for the next five months, and that I would have to manage things on my own. At that moment, I started having the feeling of  being alone.

            Fortunately, my elder sister was there to accompany me in my enrolment. But if there was one word to describe my enrolment experience, it would be the word, traumatic. I mean, come on, I was a 16-year old provincial girl who has never actually set foot in that school; accompanied by a sister who is very much like me, clueless and lost.

            At first we couldn’t find the buildings. We didn’t know the process, and when we finally found out, I was already so nervous. Then at the registration proper, my sister was asked to wait outside for me. The hell! Didn’t they know how scared I was to do things on my own?!”

            That’s when I finally realized that independence was not as easy and as wonderful as it may seem. It was after all, super scary. By the time I got to finish the whole process, I was so drained up, that all I could do was to drag my feet, reminding myself that it was over, that I could relax. But I couldn’t because I knew I had to face bigger problems than that one. After all, my sister- my guide and my protector, was going home that night. She was going to leave me too.

            That night, before her trip, she bought me a burger. She told me that I might get hungry, and food there in the boarding house was not as abundant as that at home. I just smiled and immediately left her, for I didn’t want her to see me crying. I mean, I was supposed to be excited about my new independence right? But honestly, I was really scared.

            The rest was history.

            And here I am now, ten months after that incident; so used to that independent life I once wanted so much. Now, I get to budget my money, choose my own meals, make my own decisions, and do whatever I want to do. It’s as if my high school dreams really did come true. And I ask myself, “Are you happy?”

            Honestly, I have never been so sad. Why? Because I realized that independence isn’t really everything. Yes, you get to be the captain of your ship, but at what cost? Independence may be fun, but it’s really scary, as I have first learned during my enrolment. Sometimes, it just means a lot to have someone to tell you what to do, tease you, and give you errands, because with this, you feel that you are a part of somebody else’s life, that somehow, you are significant.

            You don’t know how much I wish to go back to the time when I was still so dependent, and yet so happy. I really miss the times when I would go home, to be greeted so enthusiastically by my dogs and by my papa asking me how my day was; with snacks ready for me. All I had to do was to sit down and eat.

            I didn’t get to choose my snacks then, but that warm feeling brought upon by the knowledge that that food was offered to you out of love, is something that no amount of delicious food could replace.

           

            Independence is really a big thing, and so the consequences are huge as well: the recurring feelings of isolation and loneliness, homesickness, and self-pity. They just become a part of your normal life.

            So, to anyone who wishes for this, please, take it step by step. Overdosage may have very disastrous side effects.

Don’t Fall in Love, Rise in Love

“What if we become more than friends?”

“Let’s see.”

I couldn’t believe it. I actually did it. I made the wrong move – again. Back in high school, there was this guy who was in to me but I didn’t feel the same way for him. He comes to me and we talk about stuff. I thought he was just the friendly type of guy until that day came. He confessed and I didn’t know what to do. I told him honestly that I wasn’t really interested and that’s when everything became a mess. Well, he got mad at me for rejecting him and I got mad at him because he got mad that I rejected him. I guess the cold shoulder treatment lasted for a year.

The next school year, I don’t why but we just talked with each other. We became friends again then things got messy again, for the same reason. Same with what happened before, we ignored each other. But this time, I hated him with a passion. I told myself, “why couldn’t he like someone else? It’s not as if I’m the only person in the world.” Sleepless nights and word fights followed. One day, he texted me, “sorry” and unfortunately, he caught me at a bad time. I think or rather I  believe I was kind of (really really) mean to him. I replied, “know what, if you’re gonna say sorry and still do the same thing, don’t even bother to say the word, LOSER (all caps)” Then my friend added something to the message which, as far as I remember, goes something like this, “The 10 things I hate about you…” I didn’t know that my friend added that kind of message to my original message. I felt sorry for the guy, really. I think it was a foul play and it made me guilty. That night, I wanted to make up with him, to clear everything between us. Fortunately, he agreed and we became friends – once again, but this time, for real. And now, we’re still good friends (or so I think, just kidding). Whenever we think about these pointless fights, we just laugh at them, seeing how immature we were back then.

The story wasn’t meant to be sad or anything. Actually, I intended it to be funny (haha).

Love. It’s such a common topic for reflection papers I guess, but you really learn something from it. Sometimes you learn important stuff about life and sometimes you don’t learn at all (foolish heart, haha). Reading my short story once again, I can’t help but smile because it’s such a good feeling to reminisce about the past, and every time I do, I think I learn something new.

Life is all fun and games – that’s what I thought when I was younger. Today, I still think life is like that with the added phrase, ‘and problems”. But I don’t need to worry about problems because I know that I’ll be able to solve it – eventually. Whatever we do, it will always be a part of life. Just think about it, if we didn’t have problems, we won’t have anything to reflect upon (yey, no reflection papers, kidding!). We won’t be able to correct our mistakes. God will not give is problems we can’t handle anyway. 

Before, I said that if only I knew the future, life would be perfect because I’d always know which path to choose. I’d know what to do during those times. Yes, it would make life perfect – perfectly boring, so I take back what I said on being able to know the future. Important realization: We will never know the future and that, I think, is the beauty of life. Just like watching a movie, it’s better if you don’t know what’s going to happen next. (unless it’s a horror movie, maybe you’d wanna know when the shocking sound effects will come out, haha)

Moving on, this experience helped me to become a better person. From all the word fights, it can’t be help that we blurted out bad adjectives for each other. Of course, during that time, I didn’t want to accept it. But later on, I came to realize that maybe what he’s telling was right, that I fail to see my negative side. I must admit, it’s easy for me to see the flaws of others. I fail to see my own flaws. I guess that’s one important lesson learned.

If I were the guy, perhaps I’ll learn that instead of falling in love, I should rise in love. Falling in love will get you nowhere because there will only be one direction to go, down, down, down and when the relationship’s over, it’s hard to get back up. You will revolve around love. Whereas if you rise in love, I think it makes the relationship stronger; you learn to stand up for yourself. Love will revolve around you. (OK, I don’t know if this paragraph made any sense, sorry)

In the end, facing problems in life is normal (if you don’t, you’re weird, joke!). Everyone has problems, whether it involves the matters of the heart or even the simplest things like what to wear for school. Problems are actually positive things in life because there will always be a solution (except for math problems, haha). Not only that, they make us stronger and become more optimistic. I don’t think there are even negative things in the world. It’s just a matter of perspective, whether you choose to be an optimist or a pessimist. Just like when a man was critically ill and was being operated, the doctors were not sure if he’ll live because it was just impossible. The man said, “Operate on me as if I’m alive, not dead.” It’s just a matter or perspective.

On Life’s Milestones: Perseverance & Optimism Shines

Time truly flies so fast! Blessed by only one life, we are challenged to work out a well-lived life.  Every tick of the clock or each turn of the calendar’s pages, would remind us that life is not getting any easier.  With what’s happening around us, time indeed is becoming perilous each year.  Although it is very exciting to be a part of this extra-challenging world, life in it can be very complicated, demanding, or even nerve-wracking for the unprepared.

I remember the last year of high school. It was filled with bitter sweet memories. Friends whom I spent my high school…the habits I grow accustomed with…the memories I cherish. Soon, I would carry these treasures as I venture into a whole new world of adventure called college.

College brings excitement to high school graduates. The usual notion of more freedom and independence is something that teenagers like us look forward to. It is the time when we want to explore the world with less interference from elders.

In a world of more than over 6.6 billion people, it is easy to feel insignificant. I have asked myself, “Can I make a difference?” Even though I may feel insignificant from time to time, my life really matters. Whatever life could offer me, I just have to be strong and always aim high.  I‘ll strive to make a difference nowadays thru optimism and perseverance ….

Nothing worthwhile is ever achieved without a good measure of perseverance.  It is the key that unlocks potential and makes you the person you desire to be or dream of becoming.  The crucible of perseverance, however, is adversity.  Obstacles could either make you turn back or strengthen your resolve to persist and endure.

 

            College is not as easy as it once seem to be. Yeah, it is not a piece of cake! Heavy workload and pressing deadlines seem impossible to bear. Long exams, orals, research paper, analysis, presentations! Whew! But no matter how hectic the schedule could be and how difficult the challenges may seem, I must not give up nor give in. Instead, I must be encouraged.

The common perception that the ultimate purpose of life is to derive pleasure at all costs is pure nonsense. Life is a task and sometimes it could get really tough, even absolutely unbearable. Perseverance, more than any other virtue, builds a strong and solid character that brings about hope.

It is in the anvil of real life where true character is hammered, shaped, tempered and polished. This provides the maximum opportunity from producing a solid set of convictions that enable us to handle life rather than escape from it.

Since life is a task, we need strength to face it, not speed to run from it. And when the going gets tough, we ought to be willing to accept whatever comes, strong to overcome it, determined to stand firm. Only then can we survive and conquer.

I want a big leap from my frivolous youthful days to a more responsible maturity. The future beckons with all its hidden surprises and I must take it up with an ambitious heart and adventurous soul. My life should no longer be enveloped in a cowl; it should be out in the open to meet the unknown. Treasuring friends and befriending foes, I should climb up the ladders of life and embark on newer adventures each day! I am on my own now. Independent, truthful, risk-taking, and confident. I must be a true individual in my own right.

However, with greater independence comes greater responsibility. High school is a testing laboratory where the rules are the controlled variables. You abide by them and if there are times when you fail to, you would have to face the consequences. On the other hand, college lets you choose the controlled variables in your life. You are responsible for your choices and actions.

            Life does not promise to be easy-going always. It will, of course, throw me into an abyss of despair at times. But that is never the end of the road. I must rise up and start afresh. Keeping hope is one sure-fire way to cope up with failures. I learn from my follies and move on. For there is no going back only looking onward!

I must learn to face the years of struggles ahead like the tortoise, to stay on course, and not get disturbed by things that can take me off course. As a college student, I need to prioritize my studies before anything else.

I must only consider the positive things in my life instead of dwelling on the negative as I approach maturity and the difficulties involved with making a transition into a new stage of life. I will never allow the doubt or negativity of others to keep me from achieving my dreams and ambitions. The decisions I make and the actions I will take will help determine who I am as a person. No matter how dirty or crumpled I may get as I face challenges in my life, my value as a person is never diminished.

Finishing up high school and entering college is like winning one game in a series for the championship crown. For a little while, I jump for joy and celebrate but soon I would find myself on the hard court again battling it out for the next game. Winning the championship depends on how much effort I have exerted in every game.  To win, I would also need a coach to guide me and instruct me on the things that I need to do and need not do. I need to listen and obey to the people around me because they are there to lead me all the way to championship.

Life is indeed colorful as in rainbow. I have to recall that after every stormy night, the sun surely rises in the morning. I am the one painting my destiny.

PLASTIC… anyone?

Hot off the press: She is “plastic”. The most controversial accusation hurled on a famous TV personality!

Here in Gossip Portal you can find the hottest, latest and juiciest gossip! The rumor spreads like a raging fire in the circle….. She acts all goody-goody in front of the camera but catch her off television, you will see her dark side. Who is this anonymous person? Make your guess before the answer would be posted in the site.